hello all. sockeye salmon here. straight up "losign it." and by it. hehe..let's just say. my goddamn mind.
sockeye salmon is a very proud and talented fish. i make lots of money every day and the whole world bends to my will. but sometimes, life and existence gets a bit too rough to deal with. i have dealt with these moments of weakness and fragility before, and i have bounced right back every time!! i have always thought, "sockeye salmon is undefeatable! i shall never be bested by the demons that plague my mind!!" and then i go play with miniatures or watch silly shows. but this time, i fear i, the great sockeye salmon, may in fact be experiencing what the general public refers to as "rock bottom."
hehe get it. rock bottom. bottom of the sea floor one might say. hehe. LAUGH NOW.
nothing particularly bad has happened in my life. in fact, things have been great!! i have been on my own for a solid month now, my classes are going well, my job is not harrowing. but i have been in this awful state of mental turmoil that i simply cannot escape!! i've had my moods before, but i am able to power through anyways, but this is something i cannot ignore or push aside. my mind demands i sit in my room and stare at the wall and ponder the tragedies for 10 hours every day. sigh.
there are some very very deep hidden sockeye salmon secrets. sockeye secrets one might call them. i will not elaborate here, but they are things that i have always dealt with since i was a wee baby fish. now that i am on my own, fully autonomous, those things are highlighted and no longer unconscious thoughts, i suppose. how unsightly.
no one sees this blog anyway, so i don't feel embarassed talking about it here, but i don't want to bare my soul onto a webpage that anyone could access. sockeye salmon is a proud and haughty fish, someone who had overflowing confidence in themselves and did what they pleased. sockeye salmon has no gender dysphoria or body dysmorphia or weird feelings about their family and the things that happened in their past. sockeye salmon does not buckle and fall and get overwhelmed!! sockeye salmon, however, is not necessarily a real person. they are akin to a story character, and they are also a fish that talks through magic. magic isn't real!! ...or....is it?
I LOVE UMINEKO I LOVE UMINEKO RAAAGHH RAAAAAGHHHHHH
that's right ladies and gentlemen this vent was all a plot to get to talk about UMINEKO WHEN THEY CRY!! YOU JUST GOT UMINEKO'D!!!
sockeye salmon takes great inspiration from umineko, this is because i was really into umineko as i started doing shows. if you are familiar with my demarest show, you'll recognize the music in the intro as from the soundtrack, and parts of my outfit were from a cosplay for one of its characters. the concept behind what a "witch" is from a symbolic standpoint is similar to how sockeye salmon works in comparison to my non drag self. also, i can summon magical beings and servants to serve me with my magic.
umineko is a very very personal story to me. genuinely speaking, it changed my life and perception of the world, and spoke to me in a way no other work of fiction has before. i cannot recommend it more. if you are lgbtq, or mentally ill, or literally a human being (or fish!) who wants a story about love and mysteries and trust, please read it. i will literally gift it to you on steam. i am so serious i will forgo groceries for the week if you play umineko. PLEASE AAAAGGHHHHHGGG
i am starting a second playthrough of umineko in this trying time. i have exactly 2 fans, but if those 2 fans would like to see me stream it or something uhhh idk let me know!! it would be kind of fun to do. sockeye salmon twitch streamer era. lmk guys.