hello my salmon friends. sockeye salmon here once again.
i've been living on my own in the big city for about a week now. things are going pretty great!! classes will start up soon, i've gotten used to living in my apartment. good stuff. my one big concern at the moment, however, is securing the bag. getting fat stacks. making money moves. i need a job!!
as a salmon, i do not wish to work. i wish to swim in the ocean and not have any thoughts. unfortunately, the human world requires money to live. how uncouth. and so i am on the lookout for a job that preferably is not difficult and also pays me lots of money. hard to find jobs like that these days. what happened to good old fashioned not doing anything!!
my only work experience is in customer service, cashier jobs and the like, so i will likely find a job in a similar position. i don't mind doing that, as i am always serving, but it gets tiring after a while. my act as a human is quite convincing, but is so exhausting to pull off for hours at a time. and even then, some people are able to pick up on my secret identity and ask me things like "why do you talk like that" and "why are you so quiet" and "are you ok," and things of that nature. there is a lot that goes into a convincing human performance, such as eye contact, voice inflection, body language, not to mention the actual talking part!! you have to seem engaged with the other person and ask them questions about themselves, and also answer questions of your own!! you can't be too honest with these answers though, and you can't talk about all the cool mermaid things you do because no one is supposed to know about that!! so much work!!! whenever i try to explain these difficulties to those around me they tell me that "that sounds like autism" or "maybe you should get evaluated for autism" but they wouldn't understand. i am not neurodivergent, for i do not have a human brain!! i am quite literally just a different species of creature. the whole "fish brain human body" thing going on. trust. definitely no neurodivergence here, just fish.
in other news, i think i may be getting sick. my nose has been sniffly all day, i keep sneezing, and i am currently fighting some headaches. yeaowch!! i sure hope i'm not gonna get super sick, what with school starting up soon. i should take some vitamins. i hear human bodies need those to function well.
please keep me in your prayers, fish friends. and if you are not religious, that is ok. neither am i. i just pray because its kind of fun to be catholic sometimes. all the stained glass and fancy statues and candles and whatnot. very pretty religion. not very pretty institution.